For You
by TaintedDarkInuShemeeko
Summary: My eyes were now, maroon in color. My love, my Bella would not go though this alone and I wouldn't let my topaz eyes mock her. "It's fine Bella, for you I'd do anything." And I had, I’d thrown the life I had with my family away. I had just forsaken the v
1. Given No Choice

**Title: For You**

**Disclaimer:** I have no claim over any of the characters from Twilight. That right belongs solely to Stephenie Meyer.

**AU** all Vampires

This story is very much so **Edward/Bella. **So it's all Canon pairings.

**Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama/Horror**

**Rated: M **_(For blood and violence in later chapters)_

**Summary: **What would have happened if Bella had been dying from her injuries James gave her? Would Edward still have chosen to remove the venom or let it take her? What if Bella didn't have the strong will to stay away from human blood? What would happen if she left the Cullens, would Edward follow her? Of course he would.

_'I had caused all of this. So I would find her and bring her home. If she couldn't stop from feeding on humans then I would join her. If her hands were going to be stained with blood then I would stain mine once more. My soul was dirtied already, what would a few more humans do? I had left my family behind. Bella had taken a human life and it was my fault. She ran from us the second she realized what she had done._

'_I would not destroy her, I couldn't. So I would stay with her and clean up the mess. As soon as I took in her soft bell-like voice, my heart ached.'_

_"Edward, I'm sorry I didn't stop. I couldn't help myself. I was close to stopping this time."_

_My eyes were now, maroon in color. My love, my Bella would not go though this alone and I wouldn't let my topaz eyes mock her._

_"It's fine Bella, __**for you**__ I'd do anything." And I had, I'd thrown the life I had with my family away. I had just forsaken the very way of life that Carlisle had wanted for me, for his family. The pain I was feeling for betraying Carlisle_, _the only father I had known in over ninety years_ _was nothing compared to the embarrassment Bella felt over her actions? _

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**Chapter 1: Given No Choice**

_By TaintedDarkInuShemeeko_

**Edward POV**

**M**y un-beating heart shattered inside of my chest as I saw how broken Bella looked. It took me a few seconds to find my voice.

"No, Bella, Bella, no, please no. Stay with me, Bella."

My voiced cracked as I called out for the only person I could think of. "Carlisle!" There was only one thing I was sure of. I was going to lose her.

Carlisle's voice was calm but firm as he spoke. "She's lost a lot of blood Edward, watch her leg it's broken as well."

There was no stopping the growl that bubbled up from inside of me. Carlisle continued to check her over when he frowned deeply. "Her right lung has been nicked by one of her broken ribs. It doesn't look good, Edward."

I was well aware of the growling and the loud scraping and snapping sound as Alice and my brothers took care of James. Her voice was just barely above a whisper as Bella spoke. "I'm sorry, Edward."

I shook my head at her, "No, love, I'm the one who should be saying that."

I seemed to lose her for a minute before she spoke my name.

"Edward?"

"Yes, I'm here Bella."

"It hurts, make it stop."

"I know Bella. Carlisle has already given you something for the pain."

I was startled when Bella suddenly screamed.

"No, my hand it's burning, make it stop!"

At hearing Bella's words, panic and fear started to twist together inside of me.

"Bella?" as much as I wanted to I couldn't hide the fear in my voice. Her body stiffened and then stilled, before she screamed once more.

"The fire, it's burning me. Someone stop the fire!"

The realization of what was happening then dawn on me. In my panic, I nearly yelled at Carlisle.

"Carlisle! Bella's hand!"

Carlisle's voice was no longer calm when he spoke. It was filled with disgust.

"He bit her."

My breath caught in my throat as I took in what Carlisle had just said. I needed to find out if there was anything we could do to stop it but, my brain couldn't get my mouth to form words. Wincing as the image of Bella with red eyes flashed inside my head, it took me a moment to realize that Alice was talking to Carlisle.

"Is there any way to stop the transformation, Carlisle?"

"Sadly, the venom is moving faster through her system then I thought; otherwise I would have suggested sucking the venom out."

At Carlisle's words I started to appraise Bella's body myself. My stomach knotted up at what I found. The blood that Carlisle and I both had thought was just from Bella's head wound wasn't. James had somehow found the time to bite her where the shoulder and neck meet. I took this moment to voice what I had found. "It's because there is more venom in her system then we first thought."

I felt myself cringe as I peeled her bloody shirt away from the wound. Alice and Carlisle's matching gasps filled my head, followed by their thoughts.

'_I how did I not see all of it?'_

'_It's such a shame. It shouldn't have happened like this.'_

I welcomed the fiery burning in my throat. This would be the last time I would feel it because of her. My voice was hoarse when I spoke to my father.

"Carlisle, is there any way to ease the pain for her? I don't want her to s…"

I couldn't finish the last word. To do so would have been to remind Carlisle of how painful the transformation was. How painful it had been for me. He didn't speak to me out loud as he lean forward and place a hand on my shoulder.

'_I've given her a little more morphine then I normally would. I'm not sure how much she is getting and how much the venom is burning off. To give her any more, would be risking a chance that it would arrest her heart.'_

"You're right, Carlisle." And he was correct. What was I thinking; I suppose that was my very problem. I wasn't thinking, not clearing at least. All I could think about was needing to make this as painless as I could for, Bella.

Carlisle's thought soon broke through my own thoughts.

'_I got her bleeding under control. Her ribs are back in place and her leg has been set. It's time to move her. The fire, Jasper and Emmett have started is going to spread to here soon.'_

I knew it was Carlisle who was standing next to me. However, the minute that Carlisle went to lift Bella into his arms a deep menacing snarl ripped out of my throat.

Every instinct in me was screaming at me. _Yours, protect it, mine, protect what's mine._

At first Carlisle seem to be as appalled as I was at myself. I had just snapped at my father like some rabid animal.

'_I understand, son. It was rather thoughtless of me. I shall leave her to you.'_

Bella whimpered as I gently lifted her into my arms. Beads of sweat were forming on her brow already. The fever was starting to take hold of her.

"Edward, don't…don't leave…me."

I gently laid my cold cheek against her hot cheek.

"Shhh, I'm not going anywhere, Bella. I'm staying right here with you."

Jasper's thoughts filled my head first. They were then followed by Emmett's.

'_None of this would have happened, if Edward would have just killed her that first day.'_

'_Bella is the weirdest human I've ever met. But wouldn't it have been simpler if he would have just changed her himself?_

I hissed at the thoughts of my brothers. I however didn't pay them any mind. I did however catch the firm warning in Carlisle's voice.

"Tread carefully Emmett. I can only imagine what you were thinking. Now is not the time for playful jokes. So give your brother some room."

Even though I could hear Emmett fuming at Carlisle I did my best to drown it out.

"You know that bastard did it on purpose. He did because he knew it wasn't something that Edward wanted."

"True as that might be, thinking about it is not helping your brother. He already blames himself."

Jasper's soft voice then entered their conversation.

"Carlisle is right; we need to be supportive for him and Bella."

"But…"

There were no more spoken words between the three of them. Once outside I saw Alice waiting by the car for me; with the door already open for me. Her mind I found was empty of any thoughts that would cause me pain. For that I was grateful.

I winced as one of Emmett's thoughts echoed inside my head.

'_What are we going to do about Bella's truck? It's still at our place.'_

'_I'm so sorry Edward.'_

I turned my head quickly to the side to look at Alice. The light that usually danced in her eyes was absent. Her thoughts to me were sincere.

"So am I Alice, so am I. How long Alice?"

"Three days, three and a half at the most."

I nodded my head as Alice closed the door for me.

The ride home was fairly quiet. Carlisle drove while I held Bella gently on my lap. Her head thrash back and forth in the crook of my arm; as the fire continued to consume her. She whimpered off and on and bit down on her lips several times as if to keep herself from screaming.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I never wanted this for you. I'm sorry."

My voice broke as I spoke to her and I knew if I could cry, tears would have been soaking my face. I gently started to rock her in my arms as her breathing became more erratic.

'_Edward, Emmett and Rosalie are going to take care of Bella's truck. She was distraught when she left Charlie. We were thinking it would be best to make it look like an accident. One that Bella couldn't survive.'_

There was a pause in Carlisle's thoughts before he began again.

'_Alice said something about needing her shoes and clothes along with her bag. Not that there will be much left over after the fire is done. She said it was so Bella's family could have a little piece.'_

Carlisle seemed to always be ready for anything. Even now he was thinking about what my family could do to help with the funeral. My role would be to play the heartbroken disheveled boyfriend. I figured that wouldn't be too hard seeing how I was already upset over this whole predicament.

I wasn't sure how fast Carlisle had been driving. I had lost all track of time. Bella's body would spasm in pain every so often, but she hadn't screamed since we left the dance studio. I then realized the car had stop.

"Not now Esme. Give him sometime."

'_We're home Edward. Take Bella upstairs; Alice and Esme want to make her as comfortable as they can.'_

I was keenly aware that Bella's blood had soaked into my clothes. Esme reminded me of it when I heard her gasp.

'_Oh Edward.'_

I weaved my way through my family, not looking at them once. Once upstairs, I walked down the hall to a room Carlisle kept some of the things he had acquired from past hospitals. As I opened the door, it looked as if I was correct when I read Esme's thoughts. This was the room that was going to be Bella's during her change.

Esme and Alice cautiously enter the room with Jasper in front of them.

"I'm fine Jasper. I'm not going to attack them. Carlisle took me by surprise, it startled me."

I suddenly felt exhausted, as if something heavier then, myself had been dropped on my shoulders. I was completely overwhelmed by the event of the day. James had tricked Bella and taken her in order to get to me. In the end, he had won. James had snuffed out the very thing about Bella I had wanted to protect, her _humanity_.

Jasper was suddenly standing beside me.

"Edward, perhaps you should go out hunting? Maybe it will help."

I however shook my head.

"No, I won't leave Bella. I promised her."

Instead of hunting with Carlisle, Rosalie and my brothers; I stayed with Bella. Esme and Alice removed her tattered and bloodied clothes as gently as they could. Both of them glanced in my direction every time Bella whimpered in pain.

I had fantasized about seeing Bella soft shapely form, free of clothing, allowing me to take in every nude inch of her. This, however was not what I had pictured. At first it seemed like each time Esme ran there cool wet sponge over her skin, Bella would cry lightly or whimper.

Hot salty tears, would then spill from her from her closed eyes. Those beautiful deep soulful eyes that I had become accustom to reading instead of her thoughts. I ran a hand through my already wild auburn hair and clinched it.

I looked up at Alice as I heard her thoughts.

'_Bella is going to look even more stunning in this.'_

I glanced over at Alice to look at the dress she was holding in her hands."No, Alice, it's not Bella. You know she's not into that shear gauzy stuff."

Though she looked hurt at my words, she didn't slip the dress over her head. I did however; notice that Bella's bra and panties were a lacy light blue. I then noticed that Alice had disappeared, my guess was to replace the glamour gown she had bought. With something that was more Bella. Minutes later, Alice returned with a new wardrobe a blue-grey scallop necked t-shirt and light blue jeans.

Esme's voice entered my mind first.

'_We're finished Edward. I'm going to get rid of her soiled clothes and sheets. Alice will be back with some bleach to get rid of the blood smell. I'm so sorry Edward. I know you didn't want this for her.'_

Later as Alice was scrubbing the drops of blood off of the floor; she gasped. A vision was taking place in front of her. I couldn't see everything at first, which prompted me to ask.

"Alice, what was it? What did you see? Was it about Bella?"

The minute she turned to look at me and our eyes locked. I wished I hadn't asked. What I saw shook me and confused me.

_It had been a vision very similar to the one that Alice had, had before. Of Bella becoming like us, we were both happy and smiling just because we were together. Bella's eyes were the bright red of a newborn. However in this vision instead of my eyes being a warm butterscotch, or onyx that I was accustom to seeing in Alice's visions. They were a dark maroon._

Whatever Alice had seen she knew now that it wasn't at least a conscious decision I had made as of yet. She however, didn't push me about the matter.

"Edward, I've cleaned this room twice with bleach and I can still smell Bella's blood. Could you go take and shower and get rid of those."

She motioned toward the blood soaked clothes I was still wearing. I had forgotten I was still wearing them.

"I think it will help with the smell. Oh, as soon as everyone gets back. Esme and I are going to go hunting. Are you sure you don't want to come?"

'_What if feeding now will help prevent my vision for happening?'_

"I'll be fine Alice, I promise. I can wait till Bella awakens. Go hunting with Jasper and Esme. They're less then a mile away now."

As reluctant as I was, I knew that Alice was right. Even though my family had gone hunting; the smell of blood on my clothes was still strong. I waited for Carlisle to make his way to the room.

'_How is she Edward?'_

Two seconds after I read the thought, Carlisle appeared in the doorway.

"There's been no change, though the slight touch seems to cause her pain to some degree."

Carlisle nodded before speaking.

"That should pass soon."

I knew if I didn't ask him now I wouldn't be able to do it.

"Carlisle, would you stay with her a few minutes? I was going to go shower and change my clothes."

'_You should hunt, Edward.'_

"I hunted on the way to kill James."

'_You would benefit from hunting now too.' _

I shook my head fiercely.

"No, I'll wait. I promised Bella I wouldn't leave. If I leave the house I wouldn't be here for her."

"Edward. Son, there isn't anything you can do for her right now."

"I can be here for her."

I turned to walk out the door.

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**I **truly wasmasochistic; I couldn't bring myself to throw out the shirt that was soaked in Bella's blood. There was a part of me that was screaming, _this is proof that she was human._

I sealed the shirt up tightly in two plastic bags. Then with out really thinking about it; I opened the lid of one of my trunks. Pushing my music sheets aside I remembered that this trunk had a false bottom that I had never used before.

Once this was finished Alice came to mind. I then realized that Alice had mostly likely seen what I had done. So I did the one thing I could. I decided what I would do. If she told anyone about what I had just done, with Bella's shirt. I would take Bella and we would leave, never to return.

The smell of my leather trunk was doing a good job at hiding the smell of Bella's blood. I then quickly made my way to the bathroom for a shower. I was slipping my arms into the sleeve of a fresh dress shirt. When I heard her cry out for me, the buttons of my shirt were forgotten.

When I entered the room Carlisle and Esme were trying to sooth her. Upon looking at her I knew she wasn't conscious

"Edward…Edward."

Her voice was so soft that if it weren't for my superhuman hearing I wouldn't have heard her.

"I'm here Bella, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

I couldn't think of any way to make this up to her. Besides staying here until the transformation was complete and she was awake.

"She been awful quiet Carlisle, do you think the morphine helped at all?"

Carlisle sighed before I was assaulted by his thoughts.

'_I wish I had an answer for you Edward. It's hard to tell if there was enough morphine in her blood stream to do anything to ease her pain.'_

"Edward."

I tore my gaze from Bella to look at Carlisle, his eyes now a brilliant butterscotch.

"Son, I know that you didn't want this for Bella. I, myself am not that happy with the way. It happened, however, with the injuries she suffered, We wouldn't have gotten Bella to the hospital in time. The venom saved her, Edward."

"Carlisle." My voice was hard when I spoke. I moved out of the chair I had been sitting in and walked over to the window.

'_I know that you don't want to hear this Edward, but it's the true. I know very well that you are not happy with what you are, though you deal with it better then Rosalie. You are scared that by Bella becoming one of us, she will lose her mortal soul. What if I told you that she doesn't believe that?'_

"I know how she feels about that already."

'_Oh."_

Carlisle's thought was a simple word, as if he wasn't surprised that Bella had shared her thoughts with me. Carlisle then went back to speaking out loud.

"Then why do you continue to beat yourself up over this? You deserve to be happy, son. You have been the odd man out in our family for so long. When Bella came into the picture you became alive again."

I couldn't deny Carlisle's last two statements, because they were true.

"I was taking her to watch us play baseball. I told Charlie that I would keep her safe. Bella didn't want to hurt him, but I told her that we didn't have a choice. To not worry about it because she would get to talk to him and Charlie would forgive her for the words she said, and now."

And now none of those things I had promised Bella would happen. We would have to leave Forks soon. It would be too dangerous for us to remain. Though, I was well aware that each newborn was different. I knew that we couldn't take any chances. I was kidding myself; I couldn't take the chance of Bella taking a human life. If her soul hadn't already been destroyed, I was convinced that it would be if she took a humans life. The guilt that I was feeling was merciless. I felt as if my body was burning all over again.

I hadn't been aware that Carlisle had pulled me into his arms; until I felt his breath on the top of my head. As Carlisle pulled me into his arms I realized that my body was shaking strangely. I felt as if I was sinking, as a strange almost strangled cry came from me.

It didn't take my mind long to realize that this is what it felt like for one of us to cry. Even though, my eyes shed no tears I was crying. My dry sobs were for every human experience I had wanted to give Bella and now she would never have them. In the one hundred and eight years, I had shared my life with Carlisle. I had never let me embrace me in such a way, before.

Now, however, I relished in it.

'_Oh Edward, we will figure everything out. I don't know how long that will take but we will. There is one thing that I'm certain of. Bella will not hate you for this. Though, Esme and Emmett seem to be happy with this life. I know, Rosalie still a deep rooted hatred for what I turned her into. I've manage to hide things from you Edward. You have reminded me for years of how much you hated what I did to you. I'm afraid that in some form you must hate me as well. After all it was the monster in me that made you into the monster you see yourself as.'_

"Carlisle, I…"

My words trailed off as Carlisle stopped me with his thoughts.

'_It's all right Edward. Now is not the time we have much more important things to think over.'_

After our brief moment together I did my best to pull myself back together.

"Esme, Alice and Jasper should be home soon and when they are, Emmett and Rosalie are going to get rid of Bella's truck."

'_I'm almost glad Bella is being so quite. Once the remains of her burnt out trucks is found; Charlie will be here and so will the police.'_

Carlisle was right; there would be police here later today once dawn broke over the horizon. One of them would be Bella's father and I was going to be the target of his wrath. He was going to blame me for her death. Especially, since he was under the impression that Bella and I had had a fight and broke up. Charlie had nothing to worry about. I was already blaming myself for Bella's death so to speak.

There was one thing that would help my case with Charlie. Tears and I couldn't give them to Charlie. This was one of the moments when I hated what I was. My eyes then drifted over to Bella. I reached a hand out slowly to brush a stray strand of hair out of her face.

"I'm not sure how to make Charlie see that I'm innocent. Regardless of that, I will do it for you, Bella."

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**Thank you for reading. Chapter 2 titled: Mourning Losses, is already in the making.**


	2. Mourning Losses

**Disclaimer:** I have no claim over any of the characters from Twilight. That right belongs solely to Stephenie Meyer.

**AU** all Vampires

This story is very much so **Edward/Bella. **So it's all Canon pairings.

**Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama/Horror**

**Rated: M **_(For blood and violence in later chapters)_

**Summary:**

_'I had caused all of this. So I would find her and bring her home. If she couldn't stop from feeding on humans then I would join her. If her hands were going to be stained with blood then I would stain mine once more. My soul was dirtied already, what would a few more humans do? I had left my family behind. Bella had taken a human life and it was my fault. She ran from us the second she realized what she had done._

'_I would not destroy her, I couldn't. So I would stay with her and clean up the mess. As soon as I took in her soft bell-like voice, my heart ached.'_

_"Edward, I'm sorry I didn't stop. I couldn't help myself. I was close to stopping this time."_

_My eyes were now, maroon in color. My love, my Bella would not go though this alone and I wouldn't let my topaz eyes mock her._

_"It's fine Bella, __**for you**__ I'd do anything." And I had, I'd thrown the life I had with my family away. I had just forsaken the very way of life that Carlisle had wanted for me, for his family. The pain I was feeling for betraying Carlisle_, _the only father I had known in over ninety years_ _was nothing compared to the embarrassment Bella felt over her actions? _

_**Last Time: Edward's POV**_

"_Esme, Alice and Jasper should be home soon and when they are, Emmett and Rosalie are going to get rid of Bella's truck."_

'_I'm almost glad Bella is being so quite. Once the remains of her burnt out truck is found; Charlie will be here and so will the police.'_

_Carlisle was right; there would be police here later today once dawn broke over the horizon. One of them would be Bella's father and I was going to be the target of his wrath. He was going to blame me for her death. Especially, since he was under the impression that Bella and I had had a fight and broke up. Charlie had nothing to worry about. I was already blaming myself for Bella's death so to speak._

_There was one thing that would help my case with Charlie. Tears and I couldn't give them to Charlie. This was one of the moments when I hated what I was. My eyes then drifted over to Bella. I reached a hand out slowly to brush a stray strand of hair out of her face._

"_I'm not sure how to make Charlie see that I'm innocent. Regardless of that, I will do it for you, Bella."_

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**Chapter 2: Mourning Losses**

_By TaintedDarkInuShemeeko_

**Edward's POV**

**T**ime is everything to a human and nothing to one such as me. Or at least that is how I use to think. The loud _crack_ of thunder pulled me out of my thoughts. I rubbed my right hand over my face I looked up, to see a light blue lightening strike streak across the sky. Today was the second day of Bella's transformation. Besides the occasional muffled moan and the slight twitching her limbs made; her body remained quite and still. It wasn't a normal reaction.

I shivered as the memory of the searing fire that enveloped my body ninety years ago, though I couldn't remember if I had screamed. The memories of Esme, Rosalie and Emmett told me that I probably had. The fire was as if lava had replaced my blood, melting away everything that was in its path.

The dark painful memories from the past were thrown aside when the memory of last night drifted back to me. I had been aware that Charlie was going to be angry with me. There had been nothing to really prepare me for the onslaught of Charlie's thoughts. If my family and I hadn't been trying to appear human; we would have been able to stop Charlie's attack on me. We were trying to appear human so I made no move to defend myself.

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**Last Night**

**A**lice had already warned me about what Charlie wanted to do to me. An hour later I could hear Charlie's frenzied thoughts. I had become the prey and Charlie was now the hunter. Charlie's thoughts bounced from wanting to kill me, to arresting me, all the way to figuring out a way to make me suffer. I had hurt his little girl, and in Charlie's mind I was his only target.

"Alice, is Edward home?"

"Charlie, what a surprise to, see you here. Um, well, don't know for sure."

"Don't give me that crap, Alice. Is Edward here or not? Bella, stormed out of the house, almost twenty hours ago, and she hasn't checked in like she promised she would."

As stupid as I knew it was, I left Bella in Carlisle and Rose's care; choosing to make my way down stairs to face Charlie instead. Jasper's thoughts tickled my mind as I started down.

'_Edward, it would be safer if you stay put. Carlisle asked me not to mess with Charlie's feelings. I'm not sure how long I will respect that. Especially, since he will be even more upset once they find Bella's truck.'_

I had already been introduced to Charlie's feeling via his thoughts. My head was throbbing with the intensity of his thoughts. The mere thought of dying right now seemed to be a nice idea. Alice's thoughts quickly echoed inside my mind causing me to wince slightly at the forcefulness behind them.

'_And just how is your death going to fix all of this Edward Anthony Cullen? It wouldn't; it would just make things worst. So stop being stupid.'_

It was after hearing her thoughts that I understood that I must have muttered my thoughts aloud, where only Alice had heard and commented. I was sure the rest of my family would say something later. I had just reached the last step. When Charlie's one thought shook everyone else's from my mind.

'_You.'_

Ten seconds later the same word hissed free from Charlie's lips. Charlie's blood pressure had spike the second he had spotted me in the room. Coloring his face a tomato red, the rapid change in his blood pressure also caused his heart to thump wildly inside his chest.

"You."

I could hear the fast beating of Charlie's heart. My body paid little heed to it. It was too busy listening to the frantic fluttering of Bella's heart upstairs. The ever present burning in my throat was there but I could ignore it. My voice wasn't as smooth and calm as I would have liked it to have been. But it would have to do.

"Chief Swan, I know you're worried about Bella. I'm worried as well. It's one of the reasons I called the police. After Bella and I had our fight, I called her to apologize and to ask her if we could meet and talk about things. About us, when she didn't show…"

I knew what Charlie was planning to do. But I had no choice but to act as if it had surprised me. Charlie had walked passed Alice and was headed straight at me. I took a step back as Charlie closed the distance between the two of us. Normally Charlie wouldn't have been able to touch me. Let alone lift me, however I guess it is true what they say about adrenaline rushes. They have the ability to make people stronger.

Without even noticing it I had backed myself into a corner. There was no escape for me. At least not where I could get free of Charlie without showing him what I truly was. Charlie's anger was rippling off of him in thick waves to where my primal instincts told me to fight back or to run. There was no way I could do any of that. To do either one would mean harm of some kind to Charlie. I was already torn over the harm I had allowed to befall my love.

The monster in me seemed to understand, there was no way out of this. So I did my best to do my finest performance masquerading as a human. I pulled in a stunning breath as Charlie grabbed the collar of my shirt. I leaned my body toward him slightly. Aiding him in his attempt to not only move me, but to intimidate me has well.

'_I'm sorry, Edward. I know all of this is hard for you.'_

Carlisle's thoughts were only slightly comforting do to the position, I now was in. My father's voice was calm and firm as always. Yet he managed to insert surprise as well.

"Chief Swan, I would appreciate it if you would remove your hands from my son. Placing blame on Edward is not going to help. We are just as worried about Bella as you are."

The presence of my father at the top of the stairs seemed to startle Charlie a little bit but not enough for him to release his hold on my shirt. Carlisle frowned at seeing this, but he understood Charlie's actions very well. His thoughts soon fell heavy on me. I was the reason why Carlisle understood slightly of how Charlie was feeling.

I had been the reason for it; when I had chosen to leave all those years ago. Before our family had become seven, it had only been three and I had been young and had rebelled against Carlisle chosen life style. The strange harshness in Carlisle's voice pulled me back into the present.

"Chief Swan, your hands please. I would hate to have to call the authorities, Charlie. "

This time Carlisle's words seemed to make my attacker to jump; allowing him to find himself.

"Um…I…right."

Charlie's anger ebbed slightly as his face colored in his embarrassment. Thoughts of how foolish he now felt covered some of his thoughts of revenge against me. I had just now realized that Esme was now standing on the stairs with my father. Charlie also seemed to remember that Alice was in the room as well.

Besides his thoughts of how he felt about acting in such away in front of not only Alice, but my mother and father. Charlie's voice shook as he turned to speak to the members of my family that were present.

"Well I…guess I should get going. I hope…this doesn't make you think less of me Dr. Cullen?"

Carlisle gave Charlie a small smile.

"Of course, not Charlie; you're upset. Esme and I would be just as upset. If one of our children didn't call when they promised they would. Perhaps, Bella is just having trouble with her cell-phone?"

Charlie seemed to find something in Carlisle's words. He nodded his head and turned to leave. He then looked back at Alice.

"And again I'm sorry about that."

Charlie's eyes fell on me next. There was no apology to me in them. He never intended to apologize to me until his little girl was home in his arms again. I flinched at the coldness toward me in not just his eyes but his thoughts as well. I felt as if he had frozen me in place. Then without another word, Chief Swan was walking out the door.

There was no way that man was ever going to forgive me. Normally, such a thing would not matter to me. It did now, for the simple fact that he was Bella's father. What were we going to do? Bella had always said that I was her world. I was well aware of how much Charlie meant to Bella.

Something else came to my mind causing a look of horror to draw up on my face.

_What had been done about Bella's truck?_

Alice's words were like a mother's warm embrace, scaring the monsters away from a small child.

"Relax, Edward. Emmett was able to hide Bella's truck before Charlie arrived. Though it's almost time to go and tie up the loose ends."

'_I bet Bella will be mad when she learns about what became of her truck.'_

"I'll get her a new truck Alice; something that can go 60 to 100 in less then 5 seconds."

'_Something tells me that even as one of us Bella is going to want her old truck regardless of us liking speed.'_

"We will just have to see about that Alice."

And we would have to just wait and see nothing was completely defined yet. As the seconds proceeded to tick by I found myself pacing the floor. Just how long did it take to smash up an old truck and then dispose of it by lighting a fire to it?

The closer my siblings got to home, the clearer the image of the fireball that was Bella's truck was. In the image due to the clarity of my family's eyes; my mind picked out the thinks that were Bella's.

One of her red top sneakers lay half melted and smoking from the fire. The chaos was about to start. My family and I were going to have to mourn Bella's death in front of the whole town. I had at first rationalized to myself that it would be easy to mourn her loss. Now, I wasn't so sure.

I wasn't really losing her, we weren't really losing her. Bella was going to be staying with us. It was this town that was losing Bella. Renee, Phil and Charlie were losing her. All of her friends at school were losing her.

The only things, my family and I were losing was Bella's humanity. In the end, we were going to be able to keep her. And Bella was going to get what she wanted, me forever, and to be a monster with me.

I was making my way up stairs, when the first time in hours, I heard Bella scream. I didn't even bother taking the steps one at a time. I was a blur, as I disappeared up the stairs to her room.

As I came to a stop in the doorway, I saw that Carlisle and Esme were already with her. Alice sudden appeared in my line of vision.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't see it."

Confusion filled me, until I saw Alice's thoughts. Charlie was coming back sooner then expected. Alice threw something at me, my hand shot out on instinct to catch it.

Eye drops?

"Alice…"

"Not now, Edward. Emmett just turned on the news and Bella's truck is all over the local channels."

Glancing at Alice's eyes, I could see that she had contacts in to make her eyes look red from crying.

I then held the bottle up and shook it lightly.

"Tears?"

Alice nodded before letting her thoughts fill my head.

'_I came up with is idea, when I saw how upset you were about not being able to cry. Carlisle, Esme, and I have decided to wear them too; even Emmett. We're going to have to change the contacts a lot. The venom in our eyes will start to dissolve them in an hour or two.'_

"So go and get those in, Emmett is putting his in as we speak. So you better get moving."

I should have known that Alice would think of everything. She was Alice, and no one bet against Alice, not even me.

"All right, you win Alice. I'll go put these on and I'll keep a bottle of drops on me at all times."

I did my best to smile at Alice. I'm sure she knew that it was a forced smile. Turning I quickly headed toward the bathroom. Timing was running out, I could hear Charlie's pained thoughts again. The fury from a few hours ago was nothing compared to the heart wrenching fury Charlie was feeling. And once again, I was Charlie's target he blamed me for his daughter's pain and now her death.

**One minute and ten seconds later**

I had figured it would take me mere seconds to put in the contacts. I was wrong. I had better timing then Emmett did. He started before I did, and was still working on his when I finished.

'_Damn stupid lenses.'_

I chuckled at hearing Emmett's thoughts. The contacts irritated my eyes more then anything. Eye drops, I found helped sooth the irritation caused by the contacts. As well as give off the appearance that I had been crying. A dozen different things ran through my mind, as Charlie got closer to our home. I continued to chant to myself.

'_You can do this, Edward. For Bella, you can do anything.'_

Hearing Charlie's police cruiser, pull into our drive way. Esme shared a look with Carlisle, before turning to look at me. There was no need, of the contacts and fake tears to see the sadness that shone in her eyes. I didn't need to hear her thoughts either, but they were ever present.

'_I'm so sorry, that things happened the way they did. It will all work out in the end, Edward.'_

I sighed before answering her, "I do hope that you are right, Esme."

The chime of the door bell froze me, in my tracks. The sound of Carlisle's thoughts in my head; caused me to turn toward him.

'_There is no time for doubt now. Alice as assured us that this will work.'_

The echo of Charlie's thoughts was not what I expected. I had expected Charlie to be blaming me for everything. That to my surprise was not the cast.

"_This is entirely my fault, it's all my fault. If I hadn't been so cheap, if I had just gotten her a newer car; maybe none of this would have happened?'_

After that Charlie's thoughts no longer formed sentences. They were just random words.

'_Electric fire.'_

'_Faulty wiring.'_

Faulty wiring that was, what the police thought, had caused the fire. The fire that was responsible for Isabella Marie Swan's death. Something else weighted heavily on my mind. What would we do about the Blacks? They were close friends of Charlie's, so they would be at the funeral and they knew what we were; or at least Billy Black knew what we were.

The sound of the door bell was foreboding in our large living room. As Esme went to answer the door, I quickly put several drops into my eyes.

"Good evening, Chief Swan. I do hope you're not here to cause trouble."

Charlie's thoughts soon drifted to me.

'_How do I tell him, she's gone? I still can't believe she's gone. I had no business jumping on him the way I did. He's just a kid._

"Um…no ma'am not this time. Would it be possible for me to speak with Edward? There's something important I need to talk to him about."

I waited for Esme to call me, before I made my appearance.

"Edward dear, Chief Swan is here to see you."

After putting in new contacts and some more drops. I made my way out of the kitchen.

"Coming, mom."

I glanced up and did my best to look surprised to see Charlie here again. I then brought my hand up and wiped at my eyes. Charlie however, had already seen my tears. His thoughts spoke his surprise.

'_He already knows, but how."_

"So how did you find…" Charlie's words trailed off at the sight of my eyes.

'_He's been crying.'_

I cleared my throat as I got ready to speak.

"The news, there's been reports on the local news channel. They had pictures too; I'm not sure how they found a picture of her, but when I saw it I thought I was dreaming it at first. I can't help but think that this is some how my fault."

Charlie started to get choked up as he listened to me speak.

"No, don't think like that. It's no one's fault son. It just happened and there is no one we can really blame for it, son."

While Charlie was busying wiping away his own tears; I took the chance to add more drops to my eyes. I wasn't however prepared for Charlie to pull me into his arms. While I was in my embrace with Charlie; I could hear Esme and Carlisle as well as Jasper doing their best to console Alice. After a few minutes Charlie glanced up at the ceiling before letting me go.

"Edward, I'm sorry about the way I acted this morning. I know you cared for my Bells a lot and I shouldn't have…"

I was feeling guilty enough already I didn't need Charlie lathering me up with more guilt.

"Really, Chief Swan, its fine. You were upset. If a boy upset my daughter I'd be mad too."

Charlie then turned to leave, and I could here his thoughts.

'_Renee and Phil are flying in earlier tomorrow morning. There is just so much to do. I wonder if Edward would…''_

He then cleared his throat as he looked back to me.

"Uh, Edward, I was wondering if…you could. That is if it's not too much trouble. I mean Bells always played this CD you gave her. She would talk about your music for hours and I was wondering if you…could maybe play at the funeral. Something tells me it would be something that Bella would like."

Unable to find my voice at first, I just nodded. Once my voice seemed to find a way out; I was able to speak.

"Of course Charlie, I'm honored you asked. For Bella, I would do just about anything."

Charlie then nodded and told me that he would keep in touch and let me know the details. As I watched him leave for the second time; two things ran through my mind.

'_For you, Bella, all of this I do for you. I would give you the world if I could.'_

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

**A/N: Well here's another chapter. I promise you that things will start moving more toward the end of the next chapter. **

**Chapter 3: Death and Rebirth**

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Thanks you guys are the best.**

**TaintedDarkInuShemeeko**


	3. Ode to My Love: The Death of Bella Swan

**Disclaimer:** I have no claim over any of the characters from Twilight. That right belongs solely to Stephenie Meyer.

**AU** all Vampires

This story is very much so **Edward/Bella. **So it's all Canon pairings.

**Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama/Horror**

**Rated: M **_(For blood and violence in later chapters)_

**Summary:**

_'I had caused all of this. So I would find her and bring her home. If she couldn't stop from feeding on humans then I would join her. If her hands were going to be stained with blood then I would stain mine once more. My soul was dirtied already, what would a few more humans do? I had left my family behind. Bella had taken a human life and it was my fault. She ran from us the second she realized what she had done._

'_I would not destroy her, I couldn't. So I would stay with her and clean up the mess. As soon as I took in her soft bell-like voice, my heart ached.'_

_"Edward, I'm sorry I didn't stop. I couldn't help myself. I was close to stopping this time."_

_My eyes were now, maroon in color. My love, my Bella would not go though this alone and I wouldn't let my topaz eyes mock her._

_"It's fine Bella, __**for you**__ I'd do anything." And I had, I'd thrown the life I had with my family away. I had just forsaken the very way of life that Carlisle had wanted for me, for his family. The pain I was feeling for betraying Carlisle_, _the only father I had known in over ninety years_ _was nothing compared to the embarrassment Bella felt over her actions? _

**(A/N: Have your tissues handy just in case.)**

_**Last Time:**_

_**Edward POV**_

_I was feeling guilty enough already I didn't need Charlie lathering me up with more guilt._

"_Really, Chief Swan, its fine. You were upset. If a boy upset my daughter I'd be mad too."_

_Charlie then turned to leave and I could here his thoughts._

'_Renee and Phil are flying in earlier tomorrow morning. There is just so much to do. I wonder if Edward would…''_

_He then cleared his throat as he looked back to me._

"_Uh, Edward, I was wondering if…you could. That is if it's not too much trouble. I mean Bells always played this CD you gave her. She would talk about your music for hours and I was wondering if you…could maybe play at the funeral. Something tells me it would be something that Bella would like."_

_Unable to find my voice at first, I just nodded. Once my voice seemed to find a way out; I was able to speak._

"_Of course Charlie, I'm honored you asked. For Bella, I would do just about anything."_

_Charlie then nodded and told me that he would keep in touch and let me know the details. As I watched him leave for the second time; two things ran through my mind._

'_For you, Bella, all of this I do for you. I would give you the world if I could.'_

**Chapter 3: Ode to My Love (the Death of Isabella Swan)**

_By TaintedDarkInuShemeeko_

**Edward POV**

**S**omething else dawned on me as I listened to the sound of Charlie's police cruiser head down our driveway. I was going to have to leave Bella's side in order to attend her funeral. Could I do it, and who would stay here with her? I glanced over at Bella's still form, its stillness haunted me. It just wasn't normal for one to be so silent during the change.

So I reminded myself that Bella was the acceptation to the rule. She was oh so special, my thoughts drifted to the reason behind my inability to read her thoughts. Perhaps whatever was shielding her thoughts from me protected her from knowing the fire that came with the change?

In that moment I saw one of her fingers twitch. Carlisle's thoughts were soon lightly humming inside my head.

'_It won't be much longer. Four more hours at least and then she should be awake.'_

He spoke his next thought. "You should get ready for the funeral. Alice, Jasper and Rosalie are going to stay behind and watch over her."

'_That way she won't be alone if she wakes up earlier then Alice saw.'_

Alice then poked her head into the door. "I'm right about this. And don't worry Bella will be fine and no one will doubt your feeling for her."

'_Just remember to take and use your eye drops. When you get back, Bella will be waiting for you.'_

It didn't matter how many soothing words my family said to me. The thought of leaving Bella was unbearable. I however knew that I would some how manage it. Edward A. Cullen needed to be there grieving for his lost love. I had after all told Charlie that I would play for her.

* * *

Being at Bella's funeral was unbearable. An empty white casket with silver and gold frame sat in front of the preacher's pulpit, white roses and purple freesia adorned the top of it. And just like that casket I felt empty. The one person who filled me was lying in a bed in my home burning in silence. Her life changed forever.

'_Edward, son they're waiting for you to start playing.'_

The second I heard Carlisle's thoughts, I was sitting before the church piano. I could have very easily played the organ. It would have made the piece I was going to play sound even more haunting.

I entitled the piece Ode to My Love, the beginning was soft and sweet, the scale and melody was Bella to a tee. The ending of the piece was slower, giving it a haunting feel to it. Each note was a tear I wanted to shed for the loss of Bella's human life. Something told me that wouldn't have been the song that Bella would have wanted me to play. So after a moment had past. I began playing the first song that I had ever played for Bella, _Her Lullaby_.

Finishing up my last piece I slowly made my way back to side beside Carlisle and Esme. Emmett put his hand on my shoulder from behind and squeezed. I listened for awhile as the preacher spoke, about a young life ending too soon. It wasn't the preacher's words that caused me to get up after several minutes.

The swirl of heart breaking thoughts did, Charlie, Renee, Angela, Mike, and even the Blacks. Most of the student body that was here was merely for show. People like Lauren Mallory and her groupies didn't know Bella. They were just jealous because I had chosen Bella over them.

I didn't paid my family's, nor anyone else thoughts any mind, I quickly got up from my seat in the pew and left the church. I didn't give a damn about putting on a show for the humans in there. There was no show to put on, every pain I was feeling or unshed tear was real, no one knew that better then my family.

Making my way to the bathroom, I let out a cry of anguish, as I looked at myself in the mirror. My hands gripped the sides of one of the porcelain sinks, before I ripped it from the wall. The pipes groaned as they were tore from their welled places.

If God existed then why did he allow Bella's life to become tangled with my own?

'_Damn, you if you truly are real, then how could you let what happened too Bella to befall her?'_

Moments later, I allowed myself to slide down the brick wall while water sprayed around me from the broken sink. A soft and slightly cool hand touched my own before it cradled the side of my face.

'_It's okay to mourn her, but don't hate yourself for it.'_

Esme, the woman who was by all means my mother, was kneeling on the wet tile floor beside me.

"I did this to her, if I had never gotten close to her. If I hadn't acted the way I did in the field James would have never come after her."

Esme's tawny eyes looked deep into mine.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, none of this is your fault it was an accident and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Bella completed you and for that I thank her."

I took me a second to figure out why Esme was talking in past tense about Bella. Then I realized that we were no longer alone in the bathroom. Carlisle and Emmett had been followed by Mike Newton and Ben Cheney.

I faked and sniff as Esme held me to her, giving me more time to add a few eye drops to my eyes before wiping them away.

Carlisle then walked over to Esme and me and helped her up. "Come, Esme dear, I think its time we took Edward home to grieve."

I stared up at Carlisle for a moment with out moving. My limbs refused to move.

'_Edward, son please don't make any more of a scene then what has already been done.'_

This was the first time I had really taken in the damaged sink and broken pipes. Emmett came over and lifted me to my feet. He held me up, as we made our way out of the restroom.

Carlisle gave Ben and Mike a soft smile as we left.

"He'll be fine, Ben tell Rev. Weber we'll send him a check for the damages done here today. We should get Edward home now."

I drug my feet as we made our way home. Home to where Bella lay waiting to spend forever with me.

**A/N: This chapter was original titled Death and Rebirth I decided that Bella's rebirth needed to have a chapter to its self. It's where the dark stuff will come into play. **

**Playlist Facts: I was listening to the Muse Soundtrack: The Resistance while writing this. **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**TaintedDarkInuShemeeko**

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